


It's been a not so good everything

by Momma



Category: Pokemon
Genre: (Those who know homestuck will understand the relationship status), Angst with a Happy Ending, Best friend feels, Cuddles, Depression, Fluff, Other, Verbal Abuse, WAFF, adventure story with a twist of severe angst, depression made better with fluffy cuddles, more to be added - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-06 13:01:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5418053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Momma/pseuds/Momma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes Depression will kill the heart and soul before the body. Sometimes there is someone who can stop the progression and even turn back time. It doesn't even have to be a person.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's been a not so good everything

**Author's Note:**

> So, my computer has suffered the dreaded Teens Looking Up Bad Things syndrome which has led to one of the worst Trojans since the age of ever and now, on my phone, my updating has basically fizzled out. Have some heartfelt angst and (later) fluff while I try and revive my expensive baby.

Gathering courage, pulling your self out of bed, making the effort to just _get up_ \- there are days when she can't. The sun is shining, the sky is so blue it seems unreal, the world a verdant jewel with a bazillion different living colors and it hurts like being slapped in the face with a hand full of rings. 

_Why can't the sky mirror her pain, that deep well of Not Good Enough, of You Never Will, of You're Not Important..._

She takes a long slow breath, trying to find her feet, touching them to the floor as blankets pool around her waist and stop covering her in warmth. It is a false promise anyway, that warmth. There is no one to share it with and that alone feeling multiplies. It's hard to be motivated when one's heart is shattered and jingling almost prettily in their chest, she muses without really feeling worry. The sadness that is like a damning tide of bracken froth raking poisonous water over her skin, killing her bit by bit, is familiar and at this point almost friendly.

But she's up and that is a victory. She dresses in comfortable clothing, soft cotton shirt and thick socks, a soft skirt that swirls around her legs like a joyful memory of being five and twirling, twirling, twirling until dizzy and giggling. Melancholy like a fist in her chest squeezes her heart at the bittersweet feeling of that memory. Time to try and venture forth. 

Mother is in the kitchen, packing up a younger sibling and barely glances her way - 

_**"You don't count, you don't MATTER, so shut your fucking mouth!"** _

\- but smiles warmly, possibly a farce but who knows. "Good morning, sweetheart," is crooned with a small chuckle. "Going out today?" 

She forgot about that important thing, that one thing that was going to set you apart, she thought. Mother always forgot about her. A small not-smile tips her lips up and her brother notices, comes to give her a hug. He always notices her bad days. 

"Of course, mom. I'm getting my Pokemon today." 

Her brother tightens his arms but knows she has to do this. Has to leave the verbal poison before she dies a lonely heart sick death. Their mother loves him like a flower loves the sun - he will be fine on his own for another year. Mother isn't quite happy about it though. 

"You're just 18! You should be getting ready to settle down, be a good wife, give me grand babies!" says the woman who professes to love her states strongly, like an order to forgo her own every wish and desire for this woman. "I don't approve of this Trainer nonsense and you know it!" 

It would explain her lack of Pokemon, her lack of compassion for anything that didn't do as she said when she said, her mother. She smiled-not-smiled, turning away and glad that she had bought her own gear, found her own way without this woman. Her brother looks up when she slips a paper into his hand, eyes wet. She has given him everything, been his mother, his sister, his shelter from the anger of their unhappy parents. Even if she feels the lack of need to stand most days, she will always find a reason for him. And, after all, she will be waiting for him out there when he starts his own path. Bussing a kiss to his forehead, she turns to their mother and returns the light dutiful peck to the woman's unsmiling, sternly pursed cheek before grabbing her things from the hall closet. Their mother makes a noise of fury that turns into a snarling shout as she leaves. 

"Don't you EVER come back, you ungrateful bitch!" 

Says the woman who used and used and used her daughter as a free nanny service. The self same daughter who raised her brother, cooked their father his meals, and was their Cinderella since she was ten. Who gave up dreams and hopes to be an adult without the privileges that came with the vaunted status. Acid words poured into rose bud ears for years. 

The professor knows nothing of it. He will after today, make no mistake. This is the first time the words of HATE have followed her beyond the door. It will be too late to stop her leaving. Thank God. 

but who would be her companion and who would be best? Best to deal with her severe, near crippling depression? She swallowed back tears as words - 

_**stupi, brat, whore, worthless, lazy bitch** _

\- thundered in her skull. Today was not a Good Day. 

**Author's Note:**

> What starter, pick a starter?! Wut now?!


End file.
